ok, this is, an impulse post...by that i mean, that i didn't think of anything to write before i started writing this. so what can i possibly write about? im feeling a bit shitty right now, kinda my own doing. (a lot shitty actually)
and, home isn't very inviting anymore...it doesn't seem, homely...yet...much.
im just biding my time, waiting for a better hour (bullshit way of saying, im not very happy, but am very optimistic about being so in the future)
indulging in songs by 'ben kweller' and this song called 'forever young' by 'youth group', forever young, is just awesome (i think its a cover of a old abba song but im not sure)..love the lyrics, music, everything.
im just, kinda sad :( at the moment...gonna take refuge in my big headphones and the great healer and friend...hah, 'friend', i've always disregarded the word...truth is, all friends are temporary...the only good ones are those you don't have to keep getting constant assurances from to be sure that they still like ya, the ones you talk to the least, and still don't feel fucking guilty. the ones you don't have any fucking awkwardness talking about anything ever. 'friends', are overrated.
Also, many times, I'm way too diplomatic (it doesn't show) for my own sake…I don't want everyone to feel great, no I don't, but this fucking automatic reflexive diplomacy fuck it all up. I don't want extra friends, they're a liability.
And yes, I hate those people who start clinging to you just coz you say a few nice words to em….super liabilities and irritations. many of them too naïve to 'tell off'.
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