The last few days have been quite a lot of fun, went for a great concert. Had a lot of fun. Learned some lessons. I'm living with anleey and Sam (sam sundar, our senior) in a tiny apartment (hah! Apartment) an d it sucks :( I mean, I like friends coming over and stuff, but what happened to my old life? In my aundh house….I had alone time, privacy, and a kinda homely environment….I'm not very much into the 'decorating the home' thing but I miss my home nevertheless :(
most probably I'll be shifting into my new apartment in October, I pray it doesn't get delayed.

I severely miss my home and a good night's sleep, and good meals. I feel like wild animal taken out of his natural habitat for too long!! There are way too many social activities I'm indulging in, enjoyable, but not very fulfilling, they're very (BLANK) it's like I'm stuck in the same routine whatever I do, a loop. College-eat-game-sleep-eat-gym-eat-sleep ARRGH!!! Actually I think the gym is the only good thing about the routine, and yeah college too, hehe. I used to attend all classes In the first semester around. I'm sounding very pathetic right now and totally contradicting my apparently 'adventurous' and 'always up for anything' attitude but I couldn't be more honest. My independence is gone (except when I go on solitary trips to other cities) also my bike is always with someone else, I seem to have a problem saying no to people, I mean I want to help, and don't mind sacrificing my use of the bike, but not all the time!!! And why me?

Where is my alone time? Where are my singular self-affecting impulsive decisions? And the activities I used to indulge in that affected only me? Which I only wrote about in this blog :( I think my impulsive decisions now come only from a subconscious need for deviation from the routine…but I don't exactly hate routines..hmmm…my routine when I lived alone was sadder, but I think I was happier :( when with roommates, I can't listen to those gay-ass songs I used to listen to all the time when I was living alone :-)

And I also want these poor cats to be treated and fed better…which only I can provide in my new house…I think. I want to sit in my balcony, sipping iced tea, reading a book(which I used to do frequently when I lived alone, the reading, and the tea, both) staring at the weird view (which is going to be only a building being constructed across the compound around the time I shift in, but whatever) and get away from the position of being so close to college, and things…and people….I like, and indulge(or try my best to) in way too much.

Life is pretty much stuck, not good stuck, bad stuck, I don't care, but I worry. I want to just go ahead and do certain things that I want to do…but can't. it is unexplainable. Voids and cycles are better than dead ends. But dead ends have a sweet finality to them. Which you can move on from…

I just got a new phone btw (now coming back to the 'this blog is about a stupid teenagers rants about overly usual stuff' - mode) it's pretty nice…a nokia 5500…


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